you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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