Three words: puerto rican gang bang
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
