new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
