with your own penis?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
