It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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