Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
