brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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