he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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