WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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