Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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