We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
