He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
