do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
