he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
