your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
