I just threw up on my dentist
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
