Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
