i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
