Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
