why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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