I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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