I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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