i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im holly from the hills drunk
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
