Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
