its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
