you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I AM VODKA MAN
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
