Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
