Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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