I hate all girls vehemently.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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