I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
