woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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