I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
