Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i black out too much to be "responsible"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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