Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
