if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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