The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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