Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
