Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
