3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
