I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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