I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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