He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
