Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Are we still banned from the library?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
there is glitter all over my balls
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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