Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
