My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
