The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
