you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Randomize
