he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
