maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
