literally had 100 drinks last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
